After I got home from taking the kids to school this morning, I attempted to close the garage door by first opening the sliding door on the van, then closing it. Next, I opened up the liftgate on the van, and closed it. Finally, I actually closed the garage door. This week, man. Josh has had two early morning appointments that have meant that I need to take the kids to school. In and of itself, that’s totally doable. But those mornings have coincided with Grandpa’s physical therapist coming for 9am appointments. This means getting myself and the kids out the door by 7:30 (and this morning a backpack was forgotten so we had to turn around and go home to get it which also meant one of the children was very anxious about being late for school). This also means getting home, getting Grandpa up and dressed and breakfast for Grandma and Grandpa all wrapped up by 9am. I also realized yesterday that my registration and license are expired so I quickly renewed them online at 6am today. Because my car inspection is ALSO expired and I don’t want to get a triple whammy if I get pulled over. Know what I mean? (Hi, mom. I know you’re reading this and kind of freaking out but don’t worry because the car is scheduled and now I am a legal driver again. xoxo)
My husband has been out a lot this week (he has several evening commitments and also those early morning ones) but do you know what he did yesterday on his day off? All of the laundry. Washed it. Dried it. Folded it. Put almost all of it away. Honestly, he’s amazing. I had a bunch of other appointments out of the house this week as well and so we’ve been like, “Hi! Bye! This kid did this and this kid did this and I love you!” Also today begins no more gluten and sugar for me. When I told this to my mom her immediate response was, “WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN” and after I assured her they could still have such things she felt much better.
I’ve been thinking about plate size a lot lately. Not my dinner plate, but my life plate. There are seasons where I can have many different smaller servings on my plate, and then there are seasons where only have a few servings will fit because the portions are, shall we say, generous.
This is definitely a season of generous portion sizes. Marriage, children, grandparents, church life. They are hogging my plate this season, and that’s ok. But every commitment I make, every relationship I am willing to spend time on, has to be like the salt and pepper on top of those portions. It should only enhance and if you overdo it, the whole thing is a mess.
I’ve been waking up during the night for any number of reasons lately, and my typical go-to is anxious thoughts. They’re usually very comforting. (I kid.) I just started repeating truths about God when I wake up instead, and let me tell you the nights of sleep have been so much sweeter. “He is good. He is faithful. He is always with me. He loves me. He is holy.” On and on. It’s helping, I’ll tell ya.
I know so many of you mamas who are reading this have been nodding and saying yes ma’am because you all get it. Some of you have husbands who deploy for months at a time. Some of you have husbands who travel for their jobs, weeks at a time. Some of you mamas travel while your man holds down the fort. And all of us just want to do our best. We want to love our kids and our man and our family and honor God while we do it all. I hear you. I’m with you. We are all trying to figure out our plate size and the portions that go on it.
Just know that on your best day and on your worst day, you’ve got a Father who loves you the same. There is nothing you can do, when you are in Christ, that can ever separate you from your Father’s love. There’s also nothing that you can do that can make Him love you more. So we don’t need to fix all of the things or beat ourselves up over all of the things. There’s grace for all of it. He’s got me, and I know He’s got you.
Also, thanks be to God for the sensor that doesn’t let the garage door close when there’s something underneath it. Because someone, somewhere may forget the liftgate is up on the van when they’re closing the garage door and that’s just not something that person needs on their plate. Hypothetically.